I’d Like You To Meet My Idol

There is so much talk these days about the Canadian Idol and the American Idol reality television shows that I decided it was time to share my Idol with you.  It’s not someone you’ll find on television or in the celebrity magazines.  In fact, I’ve only recently acknowledged this exceptional being as my Idol.

 She is someone that I can strongly identify with and when I grow up I want to be just like her.  She’s feisty, calls a spade a spade and doesn’t take a back seat to anyone.  She has wisdom beyond her years and doesn’t back down from a confrontation.  Known for her pink bunny slippers, she has often been described as the Queen of Attitude.  And it’s precisely her attitude that endears her to me.  Maybe that’s because I don’t have the gumption to do what she does or say some of the things that seem to roll so easily off her tongue.  Sometimes I wish I was more assertive, but then Maxine is assertive enough for both of us with enough push and drive left over for millions of other women. 

 In fact, I’m so enamored of her that I have just joined her fan club – can’t wait to get my official Maxine windbreaker which I will not only wear proudly, but with a suitable facial expression that says to everyone:  “Eat your heart out!”  Yes you guessed right, Maxine of cartoon fame is whom I admire the most.  Created by John M. Wagner, I often wondered how a man could see inside not only my head but the minds of women the world over and create such a realistic, true to life idol.

 However, when I recently purchased Maxine’s latest book “Yelling It Like It Is – A Fine Whine With the Queen of Attitude” I discovered that John Wagner is not as gifted as I thought.  He has a host of writers to create Maxine’s wonderful words of wisdom.  And so, the writers provide the words and John Wagner activates Maxine to suit the occasion.  But my hat is still off to Mr. Wagner for creating someone that not only a mother could love, but women the world over.

The collaboration of cartoonist and writers has produced some all-time classic sayings for Maxine:   ‘Soon I was everywhere, like the flu.  And also like the flu, I wouldn’t go away, no matter what!”  I sure hope she doesn’t go away because it’s immeasurable how much she brightens my day.  With her craggy face and perpetual scowl, her baggy panty hose and her 24-hour sunglasses, she must be everyone’s idea of a typical gray-haired elderly lady.  “Never ask a lady her age, and don’t ask me either!”

 As she comments on everyday events from getting up in the morning to what gets her through the day, you can’t help but marvel at her wisdom.  She never minces words and even at her age, she still has a wonderful bounce to her step and with a twinkle in her eye that I know is ever-present behind her perpetual sunglasses, she quips:   “There are easier things than meeting a good man.  Nailing Jell-O to a tree, for instance.”  She is not adverse to adding a little extra sparkle to her life – providing she could find a man that could accept her wit and wisdom for what it is – the plain truth and nothing but the truth.  “Barbie is over 40, and she still has the figure of a teenager.  Yeah, I’d still look good, too, if I were plastic!”

Maxine’s latest book is chock full of such gems – my favorite being:  “Give a man a fish, and he’ll eat for a day.  Teach a man to fish, and the old buzzard won’t be hanging around underfoot all weekend!”  Certainly sounds like she’s been there and done that!

 What I like most about her is that she makes perfect sense in her own way.  She does have motherly instincts but somehow they aren’t quite the same as yours or mine.  “If you need a shoulder to cry on, pull off to the side of the road”.  Sure beats driving while producing a flood of tears which could ultimately lead to dangerous driving.

 And so, it’s no surprise that I’m hooked on Maxine.  If you’d like to learn more about her she has her own web site at www.maxine.com.   Can’t wait to get her other book full of gems and I’m sure it will live up to its title:  It’s Not Menopause – I’m Just Like This (Don’t let the change of life get you down – it’s too hard to get back up!)    Exactly.