Defining The Military

Lieutenant-General/Chief Warrant Officer

Leaps tall buildings in a single bound

Is more powerful than a locomotive

Is faster than a speeding bullet

Walks on water

Gives policy to God

Brigadier-General/Master Warrant Officer

Leaps short buildings in a single bound

Is more powerful than a switch engine

Is just as fast as a speeding bullet

Walks on water if sea is calm

Talks with God

Colonel/Warrant Officer

Leaps short buildings with a running start and favourable winds

Is almost as powerful as a switch engine

Is faster than a speeding BB

Walks on water in an indoor swimming pool

Talks with God if special request is approved

Lieutenant-Colonel/Sergeant

Barely clears a Quonset hut

Loses tug-of-war with locomotive

Can fire a speeding bullet

Swims well

Prays to God continually

Major/Master Corporal

Makes high marks on the wall when trying to leap buildings

Is run over by locomotive

Can sometimes handle a gun without inflicting self injury

Dog paddles

Talks to animals.

Captain/Corporal

Runs into buildings

Recognizes locomotive two out of three times

Is not issues ammunition

Can't stay afloat with a life preserver

Talks to walls

Lieutenant/Private

Falls over doorsteps when trying to entre buildings

Says 'Look at the choo-choo"

Doesn't know what ammunition is

Plays in mud puddles

Mumbles to himself

MILITARY WIFE

Lifts buildings and walks under them

Kicks locomotives off the track

Catches speeding bullets in her teeth and eats them

Freezes water with a single glance

She IS God  !!!