Lieutenant-General/Chief Warrant Officer

Leaps tall buildings in a single bound
Is more powerful than a locomotive
Is faster than a speeding bullet
Walks on water
Gives policy to God

Brigadier-General/Master Warrant Officer

Leaps short buildings in a single bound
Is more powerful than a switch engine
Is just as fast as a speeding bullet
Walks on water if sea is calm
Talks with God

Colonel/Warrant Officer

Leaps short buildings with a running start and favourable winds
Is almost as powerful as a switch engine
Is faster than a speeding BB
Walks on water in an indoor swimming pool
Talks with God if special request is approved

Lieutenant-Colonel/Sergeant

Barely clears a quonset hut
Loses tug-of-war with locomotive
Can fire a speeding bullet
Swims well
Prays to God continually

Major/Master Corporal

Makes high marks on the wall when trying to leap buildings
Is run over by locomotive
Can sometimes handle a gun without inflicting self injury
Dog paddles
Talks to animals

Captain/Corporal

Runs into buildings
Recognizes locomotive two out of three times
Is not issued ammunition
Can't stay afloat with a life preserver
Talks to walls

Lieutenant/Private

Falls over doorsteps when trying to enter buildings
Says "Look at the choo-choo"
Doesn't know what ammunition is
Plays in mud puddles
Mumbles to himself
 

MILITARY WIFE

Lifts buildings and walks under them
Kicks locomotives off the track
Catches speeding bullets in her teeth and eats them
Freezes water with a single glance
She IS God!!!