Welcome to 

The Ties That Bind

This page is dedicated to girlfriends/common law spouses everywhere.

I decided to create a special page just for you because I believe you have  issues unique t

o your relationship with a military member - particularly during deployments.

Today, common-law relationships are accepted similar to married couples. 

 But, do you feel you are treated the same or different?

If you are not living common-law but are just at the girlfriend stage in your relationship,

 many of you no doubt live in your hometown and perhaps not near

 the base where your boyfriend is located.

And, particularly during periods of foreign taskings, some of you have told me 

you feel 'left out' of activities and information surrounding the deployment.

This page is a way for you to express your views, share with us the difficulties you face 

not yet being a military wife. It is a page of support and hopefully, we who are permanently committed 

to the military lifestyle, can help in making communication with you better.

For starters, when your boyfriend is gone on tasking do you receive a newsletter from his unit?  

What is the most difficult thing for you to deal with in your relationship?  

Do you have difficulties understanding the military lifestyle/language?

Please feel free to voice your comments.  Names will not be printed online. 

 I just want this to be a page where you can feel particularly at home.

You decide the direction this page will follow. Please contact me and I will put your thoughts online.  Dianne

 

When I thought your site couldn't get any better, here you go again and make a page 

that seems to be  designed just for me! I think it is a really important 

addition because not yet being a military wife is a very different experience because

 we are not treated equally to other wives. I don't believe in Common law but after a very 

stressful experience, I felt it was necessary to get the equal treatment I deserve. 

While my boyfriend was training for Bosnia. I had to undergo a very serious surgery and the

 military wouldn't let him come back to be with me because I was "just a girlfriend". 

At the same time one of the couples who were common law but only together for half as long

 as we, were permitted to be together for just a minor surgery. It was very disheartening for me

 and him as well. We then decided that it would be best if we filed for common-law before

 he left for overseas in case any other situation might arise. Anyways, thanks for the new addition, 

I bet it will improve your site and bring more people here that will need

 support and somewhere to feel at home. C...

It's just as hard for us "common law" spouses during deployment as those who are seasoned veterans.

 Sometimes it feels like these wives forget what their first separation from their spouse was like.

 I wish there were more resources for us the "newbies". Being new on the scene seems to have so


many issues attached to it. We're  not just dealing with separation issues,

 but trying to figure out this whole "military" thing. It's a completely different world.  M...

Thank you , thank you!  I almost cried when I found this page. My boyfriend , who I live with,

 is on the Winnipeg , going to the gulf for 6 months.  It has been one month already , 

and it is VERY lonely.  I feel very isolated, as I am not connected in any legal way to him, 

and am not able to access the resources out there for military spouses. We are going though

 a lot right now, the least of which is trying to save money to go and meet each other in Europe

 in late May for his leave.  As we are not married,  I am not eligible for HLTA.  It is nice to find

 a page for my unique situation, and I am wondering if you know of any chat, 

or support groups available for girlfriends of CF members on deployment?   

 I would love to hear from other girlfriends about their  experiences in the military lifestyle. 

   Thank you .  Lola

It's nice to see that there is finally a site for the girlfriends.  My fiancé is currently in Bosnia and will 

return around September or October.  Three years ago he also served in Bosnia. 

 At that time we had already been together for three years.  On that tour I felt like

 I was in a world of my own, like no one around me understood how I felt or what it was like. 

 There was no support from base since we were not married.  I didn't know about the newsletters,

 coffee breaks or the evening outings.  On this tour however, I get to experience both sides of the fence . 

During the first three months I will be the finance/girlfriend, and for the remainder of the tour

 I will be a wife.  It was nice to find this site and I wish it great success.  

Whether you are common law or a girlfriend remember that you are not alone.  There are more of us out there.  Sandra.